Valet Confidential

Find out what I've been keeping under my hat


I am a Cranky Old Man

Oh, it’s summer on Cape Cod, and that means so many things to those of us who live here.

The other day I was on Route 6, in Eastham – I was in the left lane and passing someone in the right lane – I was probably going about 45, maybe a hair over (in a 40 zone), and the car behind me flashed his high beams because, apparently, even though I was passing a car at the time and driving over the speed limit, I just wasn’t going fast enough for him.

But it’s not just the tailgaters … there are those that drive so slow as to make me understand why the speedfreaks might be so ornery … the slowpokes, the timid drivers … they drive well under the speed limit (30 in a 45 zone? is that really necessary?); they tap their brakes whenever a car is coming in the other direction …

For the last few weeks, it seems as if I’m constantly either behind a car that’s going 10 mph under the speed limit or in front of a car that wants to be going 10 or 20 mph over the speed limit – what ever happened to just driving the posted limit or at least fairly close, one way or the other?

Next time on “I am a Cranky Old Man”: “When I was a kid …”


All-Star Game opening ceremony

“The greatest collection of baseball All-Stars ever assembled on one field.”


I’m sorry, but the best they could do for catchers was to get Yogi and Gary “where’s the camera?” Carter? I certainly understand Yogi being there, but if Johnny Bench and Carlton Fisk aren’t there, too, what’s the point?

And is Willie Mays really the only great living center fielder left? I was thinking maybe he was, but according to, Duke Snider is still alive.

Also should’ve been there: Yaz, Sandy Koufax, and, of course, Stan Musial

I thought that introducing HoF managers and executives was a great idea, but it suggested a big improvement to me … they should have used a Hall of Fame announcer (my choice would be Ernie Harwell) instead of Joe Buck, or at least along side Joe. Heck, they have possibly the greatest living stadium announcer right there in Bob Sheppard – let him introduce everyone!

Oh, and I thought it was great that Sheryl Crow played the National Anthem live, but that it was too bad she had such trouble with it (looking at the fingerboard when making chords, trying to hit that silly high note at the end) … still, it could have been a whole lot worse!

Just my 2 cents …


Fear & Loathing in Wellfleet

I just heard about this crap going on in Wellfleet. Full disclosure: I know one of the co-owners of this new restaurant.

Boycott the Bookstore and Bombshelter in Wellfleet. If you live in Wellfleet, please call your selectmen and complain about this.


why you make things so hard, mr stop & shop?

OK, trust me … this one’s really no big deal … but what’s the deal with newspaper placement in grocery stores?

At my local Stop & Shop, they put all the newspapers OUTSIDE the check out lanes and almost exactly half way between the two possible entrances into the store. So, unless you remember to make a special trip half way across the store on the wrong side of the registers (and then back again or continuing on to get to the rest of the shoppables), you’re (or at least I am) likely to forget to go through the registers to get the newspaper before you check out. I often find myself walking by the newspapers with a cartful of bagged groceries, thinking “gee, I should’ve gotten the local paper – oh well, too late”.

I can see why you might not want newspapers right inside the entrance, since some yahoos would probably just grab a paper and run, but it sure seems to me as if sales would be better if they were at least on the “shopping” side of the cash registers! Just a suggestion, but perhaps with the other periodicals?

Oh, and MySpace won’t let me put “listening to the radio” in the “tell us what you’re reading, viewing, or listening to” section … so I’ll tell you here … I’m listening to the Cubs/Giants ballgame on XM radio .. it’s 4-1 San Francisco going into the bottom of the 8th.

[copied of my original MySpace blog post, hence the reference above to MySpace features]


1994 Cheney video re: Invading Iraq

I’ve seen lots of examples of doublespeak from the current US Executive Branch, but I’m pretty sure I hadn’t seen this one before:

For once, the guy made a reasonable argument.


friends – who needs ’em?

While I’m quite new to this myspace thing, I’m still very certain that most of these pretty women sending me friend invites don’t really want to be my friend. But hey, that’s OK … I have lots of very real friends already, both here on myspace and … gasp … in real space. And some of them are even pretty women – no airbrushing required, thank you very much.